Thursday, November 5, 2009

Cheeky BankUnited Recruiting Letter

The Carlyle Group et al purchased BankUnited from the FDIC. John Kanas, investor and CEO, is trying to separate BankUnited from competitors with an unhappyfloridabankers website, complete with sample resignation letter. Might I suggest an alternative:

Dear ( Bank CEO’s name ):

It is with great gladness that I tender my resignation. As you know, I have for some time now felt very frustrated due to the fact that I am not able to provide my customers with the services they need. Some customers are in dire financial straights, especially ex-shareholders of the old BankUnited. They were zeroed out when John Kanas, the Carlyle Group and a smattering of financial vultures took over the stinking carcass of BankUnited, once Florida's largest bank.

I remember when things were different, when a bank could make it through sound loans. Times change. BankUnited is proof of junk lending practices. The FDIC provided a $4.9 billion subsidy for private equity underwriters (PEU's) in the BankUnited deal.

Don’t take this wrong, I could not ask for a better group of colleagues, but I want to double my income. Therefore, it is time for me to move on, to take my piece of the BankUnited public subsidy pie. I have accepted a position under John Kanas at BankUnited, only I'll be stationed in Florida, while he works from New York City.

I can bilk commercial customers, while ignoring retail ones, just like we used to.
Best wishes,

( “your best employee” )

P.S. If you would like to join me in leeching off the taxpayer at BankUnited, I'll put a good word in for you. Be a PEU captive banker at BankUnited..

Double your income, in most cases... now, that's a PEU promise. Who pays for that? Commercial customers or subsidizers, i.e. the public.