Celebrate Wealth: It's Here!

And President elect Trump's victory has the financial markets seeing green.  Relax.  Life is good.  Any parallels to 2007/2008 are clearly the work of negative and cynical people who hate life.  Ignore anyone who refers you to a Forbes retrospective which stated:

Fast forward to the financial meltdown of 2008 and what did we see? America again was celebrating. The economy was booming. Everyone seemed to be getting wealthier....

And then the wheels fell off the economic engine as it careened down Debt Mountain and bounced through Risk Gulch.  It can't happen again.  Surely, our leaders have instituted safeguards for more than themselves.

The greed and leverage boys, PEUs and Wall Street, only want to help the common man with their retirement needs.  Their products and financial machinations are completely safe.  

One can only vote for change and hope.  The rest is in their capable hands.  Ignore naysayers and Russian propagandists who suggest our leaders are capable of greed, influence peddling, evisceration and revenge.  It's party time!  Borrow, buy for there is no day of reckoning.

Confession:  This post is either completely sarcastic or intended to keep PEUReport off the WaPo fake news list.  I report, you decide!

Clown Makeup? It's PEU Dry Powder

Bloomberg reported:

With plenty of money and a scarcity of deals, private equity firms’ cash piles are the highest they’ve been since the depths of the financial crisis.

VatorTV added private equity IPOs are at an eight year low:

Looking only at private equity-backed IPOs, there have been 18 so far this year, raising $5 billion, putting them on track for the slowest year since 2008, when there was $4 billion raised in 18 IPOs.

WealthManagement reported hedge funds haven't fared well either.

For the first time in six years, flows to hedge fund and liquid alternative managers have turned negative.

Hard to invest, difficult to exit and hedge funds imploding?  It sounds like the end of 2007 and 2008 just before the Bush team let Lehman Brothers sink. 

If you see dry powder laying about stay away and report it to your local authorities.  A PEU or hedge fund may be missing their nest egg.  You don't want to be blamed for their mishandling or loss.

Also, it's the time of year for giving.  If you have millions and want to help The Carlyle Group's assets under management turn positive give them a call.  They want more powder.  

Biden Back for Carlyle Thanksgiving on Nantucket

The Inquirer and Mirror reported:

Joe Biden arrived at Nantucket Memorial Airport on Air Force Two just after 7 p.m. Tuesday night, for his last Thanksgiving holiday on the island as vice president.  The Bidens are likely staying at the Abram's Point compound of Carlyle Group co-founder and prominent Washington, D.C. philanthropist David Rubenstein, as they did in 2014. 

Will Biden do the Turkey plunge again before dining on turkey dinner at the Carlyle compound?  Gobble, gobble.  The greed and leverage boys know well how to fatten up from government insider connections.  

Update 11-22-22:  Biden is back at the PEU Rubenstein compound on Nantucket for yet another Thanksgiving.  He also stayed there in 2021 and possibly in 2019.

Trump Considers PEU Bob Grady for Energy Secretary

Three candidates have been mentioned as possible Energy Secretaries under President elect Donald Trump, but only Bob Grady is a private equity underwriter (PEU).  Grady is currently with Gryphon Investors after spending nine years with The Carlyle Group.  Fortune reported:

At Carlyle, Grady focused most of his time running the firm’s venture capital investment program, which raised several funds. The last of those was in 2006, after which the group eventually morphed into a growth capital business before being shut down completely. Grady would transition into a regulatory role for Carlyle in late 2008, before leaving the firm the following summer to join a Wyoming-based investment firm called Cheyenne Capital. 

Gryphon's website had this to say about Grady:

Bob is a Partner and joined Gryphon in 2015 to head Gryphon’s General Industries Group and is responsible for leading the origination, monitoring and growth of portfolio investments and for managing the group.   Bob has over two decades of private equity experience, and is a member of Gryphon’s Investment Review Committee.

The Carlyle Group asked for public subsidies for natural gas power generation in California and for nuclear energy.  We'll see if an ex-Carlyle Group managing director Bob Grady gets the opportunity to support his fellow PEUs with their energy investments. 

PEU Ross to Meet with Trump

Reuters reported:

President-elect Donald Trump will meet on Sunday with billionaire investor Wilbur Ross, a possible candidate for commerce secretary in the new administration, a spokesman for Trump's transition team said on Saturday.

SkyNews revealed earlier this week that Ross surprised  Virgin Money by selling all his 53.6 million shares.  Their story closed with:

The 78-year old investment guru has specialised in restructuring distressed industries and is known as the "King of Bankruptcy" for his expertise in the field following an earlier career in investment banking.

Consider his 2012 bio from American Banker which states:

In March, 2004, the firm (WL Ross) organized International Textile Group (“ITG”) by consolidating two bankrupt companies, Burlington Industries and Cone Mills.  Mr. Ross serves as Chairman of ITG which has developed major investments in China and Mexico and is the most global American company in its industry.

Ross led the exportation of U.S. jobs as a PEU.

Also in 2004, WL Ross organized International Coal Group to acquire out of bankruptcy three coal companies.  In 2011, ICG was sold to Arch Coal for $3.4 billion.  

One of those three coal companies operated the Sago Mine which exploded in January 2006 killing 12 miners.  Ross' ICG purchased Sago's owner in November 2005.  2005 was a bad year for new private equity owned companies.  The Carlyle Group's LifeCare Hospitals had 26 patient deaths in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

Ross is a man of many PEU awards.  He's led the disequilibrium where executives profit massively while workers struggle.  Ross sent jobs away from our shores.  He's personally benefited from preferred :PEU taxation via carried interest.  Ross is more of the same, expressly what many disaffected citizens voted against.

There are words for campaigns that motivate people to the ballot box.  Often they bear no relationship to actual governing or policy.  A "King of Bankruptcy" Ross Commerce Department appointment fits that pattern.

Update 11-26-16:  AltAssets reported Ross is in the lead for the job.

Inkwell PEU Boys Target Diverse Executives for Grand Returns

WSJ announced a new private equity underwriter (PEU) this week.   It's the Inkwell Group. 

Their press release stated:

The Inkwell Group, LLC, a new private equity firm, has launched with a distinctive strategy to leverage the proven power of racial and gender diversity to enhance business performance and build value. 

The Inkwell Group seeks to enhance lower middle-market companies through the addition of diverse executive and boardroom leadership.

The Inkwell logo has a strong resemblance to another Washington, D.C. based private equity underwriter (PEU)

The Carlyle Group has offices on Pennsylvania Avenue.  The Inkwell Group is on K Street.  Need I say more?

It's hard to throw a rock in our nation's capital and not hit a PEU or a member of the political team they support.  As the Red Team ushers in their spate of PEU political appointees the Blue Team doubled down with their appointment of Senator Chuck Schumer, a longtime private equity/Wall Street water carrier, as Senate Minority Leader. 


The Inkwell Group is a sign of our greed and leverage times.  The method for serious moneymaking is truly bipartisan.  Elections determine which team gets to stack the deck in favor of their PEU donors.

Trump's Red PEU Cabinet

President elect Donald Trump's transition team already floated two private equity underwriters (PEU) as possible Treasury and Commerce Department cabinet members come January 2017.  Billionaire PEU Wilbur Ross could take the top Commerce spot.  Ross' ICG owned the Sago Mine where 12 miners died in a Jan. 2, 2006 methane gas explosion.  PEU Ross is 78 years old and still growing his billions in assets.

Ross invested in distressed banks after the financial crisis and those deals received $6 billion in FDIC subsidies. A Bloomberg article on Ross's bank acquisitions had one Ross admirer bragging:

"He’s one of the best bottom feeders in the business!"

Trump's Treasury Chief could make the same claim as Steven Mnuchin's Dune Capital Management rode FDIC subsidies to massive profits on IndyMac bank, renamed OneWest Bank.  Two men who rode public money to greater riches could soon be overseeing your tax dollars.  Rest assured funds will be steered to their PEU brethren, not the economically frustrated common man who put their boss in office.

It's the Red Team's turn to use the White House as a money funnel to connected friends.  Disrupt a few industries, telegraph a few swamp drains so new bottom feeders can make billions.  They might express their appreciation by donating to the Red Team.

The Blue Team showed their concern for the struggling common man by appointing PEU water carrier Chuck Schumer (D-NY) as Senate Minority Leader.  The Clinton and Obama PEU stains remain, as noted by Wall Street on Parade.

Update 11-19-16:  Politico reported how Wall Street is celebrating a Trump Presidency.

Update 12-1-16:  Bloomberg reported Trump's newly found Wall Street love.