If CNN, WaPo, and NYT can pay homage to Carlyle co-founder David Rubenstein, who am I to hold back. Consider this my contribution, based on the song "Mrs. Robinson" from The Graduate:
And here's to you, Mr. Rubenstein
Jesus awards you more, as you know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mr. Rubenstein
Washington throws a bone to those who prey
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
You'd like to know a little bit about us for your files
You'd like to help us learn to help ourselves
Look at Congress, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll the White House grounds until you feel at home
And here's to you, Mr. Rubenstein
Yahweh awards you more, as you know (Wo, wo, wo)
God check you please, Mr. Rubenstein
Washington builds a throne for those who pay
(Ts eh, Ts eh, Ts eh...Ts eh, Ts eh, Ts eh)
Hide billions in a place where no one ever goes
Put it in the Caymans with your yacht
It's a little secret, just the DBD's affair
Run it through the Ugland house, away from the feds
Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mr. Rubenstein
Jehovah gives you more, as you know (Wo, wo, wo)
God damn the sleaze, Mr. Rubenstein
Washington fawns over billionaires who prey
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)
Planning Brintons' pre-pack on a Sunday afternoon
Candidates cite "vultures" in their debate
Laugh about it, pout about it
When you've got to choose
Every way you slice it, little people lose
Where have you gone, W. Edwards Deming
A nation turns it's lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mr. Rubenstein
Your IPO has left and gone away
(Yaay, yaay, yaay...Yaay, yaay, yaay)
(These lyrics also work well with Mr. Schwarzman and Mr. Peterson, except they already cashed in big with Blackstone's IPO, something Mr. Rubenstein hopes to do.).
Update 2-10-12: As for Jesus awarding PEU's more, one Carlyle ex should know.
Updated 2-12-12: Will Micheal Huffington and Menachem Youlus sing along?
Update 9-18-12: Forbes ran its homage to Rubenstein.
