"PEUroes" is an adaptation of "Heroes" by David Bowie. This 2026 rewrite is inspired by the Lords of Capital - private equity underwriters (PEU) and their TechGod brethren.
I, I will be lord
And you, you will be god
No officials will steer us away
We can stiff retirees just for more fees
We can be PEUroes just for one IPO
And you, you need to disrupt
And I, I'll be greedy all the time
'Cause we're investors, that is a fact
Yes, we're investors, that is that
Though Epstein can keep us together
Jeff could steal jailtime, just for one lay
We can be PEUroes living forever
What'd you say?
I, I wish you could IRR
Like the mafia, like dons can IRR
Though Trump, Trump will keep us together
We can be richer for ever and ever
Oh, we can be PEUroes just for an epoch
I, I will be lord
And you, you will be god
No officials will give us away
We can be PEUroes just for big bills
We can be TechGods who "just don't die"
I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing by the vault (by the vault)
And the crypto fell by our feet (by our feet)
And we kissed as though no asset could fail (no asset could fail)
And the shame was never on the sponsor
Oh, we can beat banks for ever and ever
Then we could be PEUroes
Just for an epoch
We can be PEUroes
We can be PEUroes
We can be PEUroes
Just for an epoch
We can be PEUroes
You're nothing, but our carry will help you
Maybe we're lying, but you better not say
Yes, you could be richer, for more than an epoch
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, more than an epoch
Just do things our way...
And Elon will give you that Penthouse. Enjoy the centerfold.
