Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Carlyle Trader Goes Fiction Route

Alex Preston, once global head of trading for the Carlyle Group LP's leveraged finance division, turned novelist.  His villains ooze from the dank corners of the financial and religious world. Bloomberg described Preston's latest novel:

Hedge-fund managers loiter after the church service, hoping to glean tradable tidbits. “Gym-inflated bankers” spill from a pub and slap a passing woman on her bottom.

The Mercedes-driving preacher is also a former banker, though Preston says he drew his voice from the world of politics.

“The priest is based entirely upon Tony Blair,” he says. “I wanted to channel the disappointment of seeing our former prime minister grubbing around on the floor for five-pound notes as he’s doing with his life now. And also that sense of style over substance.”

Now that's the Tony Blair PEU Report knows.

I wonder how Alex Preston would play Carlyle Group stock on NASDAQ post IPO.  Another UK writer penned "Carlyle tries to float above the mistrust."  This is Money missed Carlyle's asset decline from $153 billion to $147 billion, likely due to asset revaluations and huge investor payouts. It did nail the motivation for pushing an IPO:

Analysts suspect the move is as much to do with the age of the co-founders – all are over 60 – and a wish to cash in.

I've long identified the numerous ways Carlyle co-founders cash in   Who will line up at the Carlyle IPO trough?  Will it be women with slappable bottoms, Mercedes driving preachers, or retirees seeking greater returns? 

Whoever buys will need to be prepared to cover the founders' tax liabilities.  It used to be called serf-hood, where people paid for the right to live and work on someone's land.  The modern version has people paying for the right to fund a billionaire's tax liability.  It's Robber Baron worthy and not the least bit fiction.