Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Dukes Join 'Em: PEUKES 'a coming

Bloomberg reported:

Issuance of securities linked to offbeat collateral has been rising as central banks around the world suppress interest rates, pushing investors toward riskier deals with higher yields. Sales of esoteric asset-backed deals, which encompass transactions that aren’t tied to traditional consumer lending, reached a record $30 billion in 2013.

Moonshiners in Southwest Virginia issued debt where interest payments vary based on the proof of alcohol they distill.  J.D. "Uncle Jesse" Morgan brought the tax free securitization to market through his partnership with PEU Boss Hogg.  Uncle Jesse decided to join Boss Hogg in his get rich quick schemes.

Uncle Jesse said "I initially gagged on the deal, but everyone's gunning for return and their no faster way to make green than to join the get rich quick boys.  They're going to give me millions and all I have to do is promise to pay it back.  Ha!  Boss Hogg gave me his word that he'll stand 100 proof behind our Series B debt.  After some of our 100 proof he won't be standing."     

This might be the next movie out of La la land.  Everyone's intent on making private equity the savior of our planet, Africa included. 

Disclosure:  Other than the Bloomberg quotation this piece is parody.