Crypto is People Too

Flashback to 2018, before FTX imploded because its vaunted risk management existed of words on paper.

The former CEO of PayPal had this to say about bitcoin.

.... it’s a colossal pump-and-dump scheme, the likes of which the world has never seen. In a pump-and-dump game, promoters “pump” up the price of a security creating a speculative frenzy, then “dump” some of their holdings at artificially high prices. And some cryptocurrencies are pure frauds. Ernst & Young estimates that 10 percent of the money raised for initial coin offerings has been stolen. 

 The losers are ill-informed buyers caught up in the spiral of greed. The result is a massive transfer of wealth from ordinary families to internet promoters. And “massive” is a massive understatement — 1,500 different cryptocurrencies now register over $300 billion of “value.” 

It helps to understand that a bitcoin has no value at all. 

Promoters claim cryptocurrency is valuable as (1) a means of payment, (2) a store of value and/or (3) a thing in itself. None of these claims are true. 

1. Means of Payment. Bitcoins are accepted almost nowhere, and some cryptocurrencies nowhere at all. Even where accepted, a currency whose value can swing 10 percent or more in a single day is useless as a means of payment. 

2. Store of Value. Extreme price volatility also makes bitcoin undesirable as a store of value. And the storehouses — the cryptocurrency trading exchanges — are far less reliable and trustworthy than ordinary banks and brokers. 

3. Thing in Itself. A bitcoin has no intrinsic value. It only has value if people think other people will buy it for a higher price — the Greater Fool theory. 

Cryptocurrency is best-suited for one use: Criminal activity.

The pump is back on given both political teams campaigned to legitimize crypto.  Consumer protection is soooo yesterday.

Money is free speech and Crypto can use whatever bathroom it f___ing wants.  

Dr. Oz is a PEU

Pitchbook's blurb on Dr. Oz notes: 

Dr. Mehmet Oz is a Co-Founder of YouBeauty and Jungo TV. Dr. Oz served as an Executive and Board Member at Enforcer eCoaching. Dr. Oz Co-Founded and served as a Board Member at Sharecare. He serves as an Advisory Board Member at 100Plus and Kairos Society. He also serves as a Board Member at PanTheryx. He serves as an Advisory Board Member at Radius Ventures.

Private Equity International describes Radius Ventures as:

Formed in 1997, Radius Ventures was a New York-based private equity firm which targeted venture capital investments in life sciences and healthcare technology companies across the United States.

The pitchman is a private equity underwriter (PEU).  He's also the Donarch's appointee to head Medicare/Medicaid.  

Politicians Red and Blue love PEU and increasingly, more are one.  It's the Red Team's turn to steer Uncle Sam's wallet to their PEU supporters.

U.S. Will Have its First Donarch

President elect Donald Trump has been holding court.  Vassals scurry around seeking the King's favor.  Gauging the Donarch's mood is critical for those hoping to influence political appointments in their direction.  The prize of a travel invite is a priceless opportunity to be elevated or turned into a floor mat for the wiping of dung.  

The list of nominees includes a number of cringe worthy people.  Two of those are to reform government as efficiency experts, Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy.  Consider what their employees said.  

This one worked for Vivek the Pharmabro Chairman:

Upper management will protect each other at all cost and is seemingly immune to repercussions. - Managers are in over their head and don't have a clue what it means to run a pharma company let alone a research-focused one. - Tendency to only hire and retain people at management roles, completely neglecting the employees that actually put in the work. Almost 1:1 manager to "do-er" ratio. I've attended meetings with more project managers than software developers in them. - No clear sense of direction, company success is based on sheer luck. Change in direction so frequent, it will make your head spin. - Mass lay offs as their go-to answer if things go wrong or they run out of ideas - Acquired a drug discovery company and then ran it into the ground effectively losing half a billion dollars.

As for Elon the Space Commander:

You will always have 80% of what you need, and the goal posts constantly move. Zero consideration for work life balance

Overtime is scheduled naturally and is expected. Wasted time during every shift.  Extremely inefficient processes

Very chaotic work environment with little accountability. Lots of mandatory overtime with little flexibility. Often very unsafe.

This SpaceX review has a Trumpian ring to it:

You will trauma bond with your co-workers. You will see them develop drinking problems, stress related health issues, psychological trauma. You will eventually break under the load. 

You can do EVERYTHING right and because someone else broke the weight will shift to you and destroy you. You will be redlined for years working for them. And by the end you won't even realize what a ghost of a human being you have become. 

Budget a year of recovery time doing nothing difficult after you leave, at least. I don't regret taking the role. I just wish I knew when to pull the cord and get out.

Elon turned Twitter into a hellscape.  Shareholders voted to dissolve Vivek's groundbreaking pharma startup.  Stockholders lost big while Ramaswamy profited mightily.

The Donarch turned the most qualified cabinet under his first term into a court of buffoons.  He's clearly starting from where he left off with this bunch.  Who's the next loyal, poop-slinging spider monkey to achieve the coveted spot on Donarch's prized court?  

Will it be Apollo's Marc Rowan, a longtime private equity underwriter (PEU) who's former boss Leon Black funded Jeffrey Epstein to the tune of $158 million?  A former Carlyle Group PEU heads the Federal Reserve Bank.  Will a PEU also occupy Treasury?  That alone makes them systemically important.  The PEU boys already own our political system.

Politicians Red and Blue love PEU and increasingly, more are one.

Ayotte Leaves Blackstone Board for NH Governorship

Newly elected New Hampshire Governor Kelly Ayotte resigned from the Blackstone Group Board of Directors.  Blackstone, like The Carlyle Group, is a politically connected private equity underwriter (PEU).

Ayotte's appointment to Blackstone's board was big news in 2019.

As a growing body of research shows that gender diversity on a company's board of directors usually improves long-term shareholder returns, Stephen Schwarzman's Blackstone Group has added former U.S. Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire as a director. The appointment would double the number of female directors to two out of 11 total board members, or 18%.

The PEU boys like their female representation in line with their preferred tax rates.

Politicians Red and Blue love PEU and increasingly, more are one.

Government Workers: Gird Yourself for Mandate

PEU Report offers these two cartoon depictions for government workers.  I feel for these people having been through several private equity takeovers and subsequent staff reductions.  

If you happen to be related to Elon Musk or Vivek Ramaswamy or are related to any influential members of the political Red Team then your job is safe.  

Vivek hired his mother and brother as a pharmabro before taking the company public.  Shareholders got "right sized" in a subsequent bankruptcy.  

Elon's AI just declared him the most significant spreader of disinformation on the internet.  Can't wait to see Elon's conflict of interest declaration given his many companies attachments to the federal purse.

Government workers, best of luck in your double man-date.  Hopefully, Glassdoor and Indeed will set up sites for people to give feedback on the DOGEBROS.

Gird yourself.

Update 11-17-24:  TechGods and PEU billionaires can't lose for winning under Trump II:

For all of Trump's railing against "unelected bureaucrats" holding political influence, he has now appointed a pair of unelected billionaires to propose changes to the same agencies that regulate and fund their companies.

 
“We need super high-IQ, small-government revolutionaries willing to work 80+ hours per week on unglamorous cost-cutting,” read a statement from DOGE's official X account, which already bears the grey check used to signify a government body. Interested parties must message DOGE directly after first paying Musk an X subscription fee. 

Musk and Ramaswamy will possess an official channel to advise Trump on who does or doesn't deserve the government funding, even as their own companies have benefited from massive federal subsidies.

"Conflicts of interest R Us" should be the Trump II tagline.

Mandate to Make Wealthy Wealthier

Three million extra votes in a country with 330 million people has been declared a "massive mandate" for Donald Trump to enact his agenda.  That's 0.9% of the U.S population.  

Compare that to the "lesser mandate" for newly elected President Barack Obama in 2008 (according to Carlyle Group co-founder David Rubenstein).

Trump's mandate is like his crowd size, highly exaggerated.  So why would historical book writer Rubenstein mischaracterize the two victories?  Because Obama promised to eliminate private equity's preferred "carried interest" taxation.  It didn't happen, even with control of both houses of Congress.  That was partly due to Rubenstein's hard "non-lobbying" lobbying on Capital Hill. 

Trump wants to give the greed and leverage boys another bigger tax cut.  It's a gargantuan mandate from the politically connected super-wealthy.  

"Tax cuts for PE legends and TechGods.  Forever live the billionaires!" the little people cried. 

Bloomberg announced Blue Team former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick made Senior Partner at Vistria Group, a private equity underwriter (PEU) founded by Obama campaign treasurer Martin Nesbitt.  The promotion came a mere nine months after joining Vistria from Bain Capital.

Politicians Red and Blue love PEU and increasingly, more are one.  It's the Red Team's turn to steer federal budget largesse to its friends.  They may fudge a few numbers along the way.

Update 11-15-24:  Fox News Jesse Waters emphasized my point.

“And I’m not just saying that because I know the entire cabinet and that I’ll be asking for special favors.”

Trump the Usurper in the Age of Sponsorship

Update 11-17-24:  Trump called his 0.9% popular vote win "the biggest political victory in 129 years"

GIDDY!

President elect Donald Trump is off to a shining start.  His efforts to remake the country in his image include bizarre political appointments (real), belittling the richest man in the world (real) and fitting his schlong for an Arnold Palmer extension (symbolic). 

As this blog is called PEU Report, here's the private equity underwriter (PEU) angle of the Arnold Palmer dangle.  

Carlyle Group co-founder and policy making billionaire David Rubenstein is GIDDY!  Maybe as giddy as he was in 2010 when the Blue Team let the greed and leverage boys keep their preferred carried interest taxation.

Trump is going to cut their taxes further!  Let the good times roll.  

All you disappointed people can take heart in one thing.  "Trickle down now."  It's like "Simmer down now", the economic version.  Be patient and wait your turn for Uncle Sam's largesse to make its way through the Rubenstein's and Schwarzman's.  Yes, it may be discolored and gain an odor in the process, but rest assured "your share is coming."

God bless us all.  May we survive our grossly imbalanced leaders' insatiable need for more.

Update:  The TechGods are also giddy.  They used the term "buckle up."  I have a feeling we are about to be ridden.