"PEUroes" is an adaptation of "Heroes" by David Bowie. This 2026 rewrite is inspired by the Lords of Capital - private equity underwriters (PEU) and their TechGod brethren.
I, I will be lord
And you, you will be god
No officials will steer us away
We can stiff retirees just for more fees
We can be PEUroes just for one IPO
And you, you need to disrupt
And I, I'll be greedy all the time
'Cause we're investors, that is a fact
Yes, we're investors, that is that
Though Epstein can keep us together
Jeff could steal jailtime, just for one lay
We can be PEUroes living forever
What'd you say?
I, I wish you could IRR
Like the mafia, like dons can IRR
Though Trump, Trump will keep us together
We can be richer for ever and ever
Oh, we can be PEUroes just for an epoch
I, I will be lord
And you, you will be god
No officials will give us away
We can be PEUroes just for big bills
We can be TechGods who "just don't die"
I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing by the vault (by the vault)
And the crypto fell by our feet (by our feet)
And we kissed as though no asset could fail (no asset could fail)
And the shame was never on the sponsor
Oh, we can beat banks for ever and ever
Then we could be PEUroes
Just for an epoch
We can be PEUroes
We can be PEUroes
We can be PEUroes
Just for an epoch
We can be PEUroes
You're nothing, but our carry will help you
Maybe we're lying, but you better not say
Yes, you could be richer, for more than an epoch
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, more than an epoch
Just do things our way...
And Elon will give you that Penthouse. Enjoy the centerfold.
Update 5-26-26: An X post noted:
Step 1: Scrape the entire internet. Every book, every article, every conversation, every piece of art, every forum post. Do it without asking. Do it without paying.
Step 2: Train a model on all of it. Call it "artificial intelligence." Step 3: Go to BlackRock's Infrastructure Summit and announce: "We see a future where intelligence is a utility, like electricity or water, and people buy it from us on a meter."
Step 3 is where you sell people's own knowledge back to them. On a meter. They took the collective output of human thought, compressed it into a model, and now they want to charge you by the token to access a version of what you and everyone you know already created.
One Reddit user put it perfectly: "They stole all this data from us, the people, our life's work, creativity, art, by devouring the internet and blowing through all copyright laws. Now they want to sell it back to us in the form of a utility."
