Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Carlyle Group Hires Dr. Gold Brain

Goldfinger and Goldmember step aside. There is a new villain helping a generation of "mean and greedy" leaders. Dr. Gold, a brain researcher, is now consulting with The Carlyle Group, a huge private equity underwriter (PEU). CityBizList Atlanta reported:

Dr. Gold is a Distinguished Professor at the University of Florida College of Medicine's McKnight Brain Institute. Dr. Gold has combined academic achievement with business and management expertise in a successful career in medicine, academics and finance. He currently consults with The Carlyle Group.
Is he working on how corporate sponsored, political campaign ads twist through the mind, with triple negatives and purposeful misspellings? Maybe, how to keep the masses occupied with eking out a living, while the landed gentry swim in pools of gold coins? Or is it something more nefarious, like how torture produces "truth" from deep inside the brain? Is Dr. Gold consulting with 1001 Pennsylvania Avenue or a Carlyle subsidiary like Booz?

Might Dr. Gold be David Rubenstein's corner man for the upcoming financial seer cage match in Davos, Switzerland? Should opponent "Dr. Doom" Nouriel Roubini see the thong of a skimpily-dressed round card girl, a damaging Turkish surge could ensue. If it lasts more than four hours, please consult a physician.

Would Dr. Gold help the enemy? It depends on whose side Goldbrain is really on.