Friday, November 18, 2022

Elon's Loyalty Oath from Lake Wobegone


 .....where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Twitter owner Elon Musk continues wreaking havoc on his new company.  After firing half the workforce Musk implemented a loyalty oath to an extremely hardcore Twitter 2.0. 

...employees needed to show their desire for working at his new "extremely hardcore" "Twitter 2.0" by clicking a signup link before 5 pm ET Thursday. Those who do not sign up, Musk said, will be considered to have resigned from the company.

Using a loyalty oath link to drive away talent...that's exceptionally bad leadership.  

As the deadline passed, less than 50% of Twitter's employees had signed up for Musk's Twitter 2.0

That means Twitter lost 75% of its workforce since Musk took over as owner.  Twitter's Trust and Safety Team has been hollowed out.  One news report stated six critical systems no longer have any engineers.

I expect debt holders are screaming, however they may not have anyone to speak with as most of the finance department, including payroll, is gone.

 
Musk drove in more fear by threatening managers who advocated for average employees to work from home, a benefit awarded only to exceptional Twitter staff members.  
Twitter...where interest costs have ballooned, advertisers are not customers and the few employees remaining are all exceptional.  

Thank heaven the CEO is brilliant in creating new bigger problems, so the old ones don't look so bad.

Update:  Twitter may be on life support given:

Elon Musk ordered the temporary closure of the company's offices.  The company told staff in a memo overnight that it had shut down all its locations "effective immediately", raising concerns about the effective running of the business amid reports of a mass staff exodus.

Musk has done in three weeks what takes most private equity underwriters years and a down business cycle.  Debt holders and those who rolled over major equity stakes should be livid.

After closing the office Musk summoned engineers to Twitter headquarters.

Update 11-19-22:  Elon Musk is the nightmare manager many people have endured.  As Dr. W. Edwards Deming noted 

“Every theory is correct in its own world, but the problem is that the theory may not make contact with this world.”

Profound knowledge incorporates Deming's theory of psychology, systems, variation and knowledge, as well as their interaction.  It is missing from today's world.

Update 11-20-22:  Fortune reported:

Elon Musk is "well outside his depth" at Twitter and a "bullying management culture" won’t work there, says a former Facebook executive.

Reuters added:

"This is essentially Game of Thrones between Musk and the Twitter employees," says Dan Ives of Wedbush Securities. "This is really a quicksand situation that he's trying to fix. And the more he does, the more damage he does."
"I think there's a feeling right now that this situation is just continue to go more and more into a train wreck," said Ives, "And I think it's something even Musk himself underestimated."

Musk restored the account of the Great Retaliator after a Twit thumbs up/thumbs down poll.  No content moderation council needed.

Game of Thrones is not Profound Knowledge.

Update 11-24-22:  Polling is not Profound Knowledge.  One can poll their way to a hellscape.  

Update 12-8-22:  Billionaire Elon Musk asked employees to envision themselves as a crime victim to increase productivity.

 He also invited Twitter employees to not leave the workplace by providing beds in conference rooms.

Update 12-11-22:  Musk asked employees to sign yet another loyalty oath, the non-leaking version..

Update 12-14-22:  Twitter debt holders are writing down the value of their debt/notes.

The biggest chunk of the debt -- $10 billion worth of loans secured by Twitter's assets -- might have to be written down by as much as 20%.

Update 12-15-22:   Musk suspended the Twiter account that tracked his private jet flights.

Update 12-16-22:  Twitter's Elon Musk, the free speech absolutist, banned a number of journalists.  That got a warning from the European Union.  Censorship by whim or retaliatory impulse is so 2022.

Update 12-20-22:  Management by poll got a process change after Twitter users voted for Elon to step down as CEO.  Now only paying Twitterheads votes will count.  

Update 12-26-22:  Free speech absolutist Musk turns out to be a corporate autocrat.  Visitors must wait for an hour and can only speak after Wizard Elon.

Update 12-29-22:  In the midst of widespread technical problems shared by Twitter users Musk wrote "Works for me."  Hellscape achieved.  

Update 12-30-22:  More evidence of Twitter's new Hellscape under Musk:

Some Twitter employees are bringing their own toilet paper to work after the company cut back on janitorial services.

The company's San Francisco headquarters have been left with dirty bathrooms and the office is in disarray, per the publication. The stench of leftover takeout food and body odor is present throughout the premises.

Zero based budgeting has returned to Twitter.  That brings a special hell for employees. 

Update 1-1-23:  Horror movie is close to Hellscape:

...the Twitter situation-- it's a nightmare on Elm Street that doesn't end.

Update 1-29-23:   Hellscape achieved says many Twitter workers.  WoBeHere.