Thursday, August 30, 2007

Mitt Romney's "Shit Flows Express" YouTube Video

Mitt Romney joined forces with Jumpcut's video editing site for the Team Mitt Contest. People can create 27 or 57 second commercials touting Romney's qualifications for President. It's always good to toss creative ideas out for consideration, so here goes:

The scene opens with Team Romney, Mitt, the wife and young boys getting ready for vacation. They pack the station wagon with the last task of putting their Irish Setter, Seamus on the roof. During the trip the anxious dog "has an accident". Mitt looks into his rear view mirror to find feces dripping down the back window.

"Crap, honey. It looks like I have a mess to clean up." A picture of President Bush under the 'Mission Accomplished' banner flashes before his eyes.

While using a garden hose to clean both the dog and the wagon, Mitt finds his dog licking his balls. "Seamus, stop acting like an Idaho Senator! You'll shame us!" After hosing down both the dog and Larry Craig, Mitt turns to the camera. "That's what I get for looking in the rear view mirror. No Larry, no rear views for you. Where was I? Oh, charge ahead, I say. Look back at your own peril, especially if you have a wide stance in an airport lavatory. And that's why I'm touring the country in the Shit Flows Express Wagon, to share my lessons with the American public. Plus I have a quarter billion dollars to burn on the campaign."

The commercial ends with "Support Mitt's 'wide stance' on animal rights and stalwart Senator Larry Craig's 'not gay' position on homophobia. This message has been brought to you by Bain Capital and the PEU boys. Some things don't wash off."