"I'd like to welcome everyone to OPEC. My friend here has plenty of lead, but where is he hiding the oil? Maybe inside those Mattel toys, or is it under this table along with loose U.S. nuclear warheads? As for global warming, we're kicking ass! And we can only go as far in Iraq as is economically feasible. Did I get those two mixed up? Did you hear about my row with Roh, the S. Korean leader? Yes, I can fight over a war ended fifty years ago. Anyone heard of a cluster _uck? Cut! Ban this speech for being too cute and funny. And bring me another non-alcoholic beer!"